why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
