OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
