I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
