there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
