yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Randomize
