sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
