You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
