Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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