Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
