I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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