sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
