i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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