Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I believe in your delicious
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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