At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
