he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
