went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
