I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
