You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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