haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think people are normalizing furries
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
