it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
