Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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