OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
