so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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