its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
