So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
