ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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