i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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