This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
