Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
