Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
