The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
