If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
and i looked up. we had an audience...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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