well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
