My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
