I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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