somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
