what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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