I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
