If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
