No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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