You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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