Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
