quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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