yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
