Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
