apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
