Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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