FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
