pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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