i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
