You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
