we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
